Seems like every of my posts now is
about complaining about stuff or writing about a calamity. I do not wish to
make a habit of it I promise but things happen and we have no control over most
occurrences. We are still in the first quarter and a lot of water has passed
under the bridge. I have experienced two major losses in quick succession that
has made me question the fairness in the balance of the universe.
Recently, I lost my dear cousin(more
like a sister) to the cold hands of death. Earlier my dear friend Lara was
snatched away from us all within 29 days. Tayo’s death opened up the
floodgates. I was broken and miserable for days following her death. I had
questions to ask. I needed answers. Here was a pretty and talented young lady
full of life with all to live for. She had completed her undergraduate studies
and was undergoing the compulsory National Youth Service to serve her
fatherland (NYSC is a complain for another day). She had labored all these
years only to be taken away from amongst us. 5 people in the car and she had to
be the only one who died. Why? Why did things take the turn they chose to take?
Why did it have to be my dear sister? Why not some shrewd businessman or some
evil politician we have in this country?
A balance has been upset in the universe
because somebody unique has been deleted from the equation of the cosmos; A
person who had the ability to control the outcome of things, A person who had
the ability to love unconditionally, A person who had the ability to make you
her friend even against your will. She had such a cheerful and radiant face
that you had no choice but to just be drawn to her. Everything about Tayo was
perfect. A mere look at her and you would know that this girl had a great
future. Don’t ask me how I know, I just know.
I lost my appetite and my confidence. I
was even questioning the essence of living on this side of eternity only to be
taken away so soon. I asked myself “what’s the point to even living at all if
you are going to die so soon?” why bother to live at all if at the end of the
day, death comes knocking and you gotta answer even though you are still so
young? Why the hell is death not a respecter of age? Why isn’t death choosy?
Pick some bad people not the good ones. Don’t pick people who could make a
difference to our generation. All these went through my mind I must confess. I
went through Depression-Denial-Anger-Bargain-Denial-Depression… I know this is
twisted since there is suppose to be only five stages but this is what I think
I felt. I will eventually come to acceptance but that would hurt. Throughout
the weekend following Tayo’s death, I had practically no time to grief at all
because we were busy planning her funeral. You know according to the Yoruba
custom, adults don’t plan funeral of a young person. They are not even suppose
to know where the person is buried. So, I was busy engrossed (with my cousins)
in giving Tayo a befitting send forth. I owe her that much…we owe her that
much.
On the day of the funeral, the reality
of the whole situation dawned on me. My Tayo is gone for real. I will never see
Olatayo again on this side of eternity. I broke down completely. The floodgates
opened and it rained and rained. God knows I love Tayo with all my heart. We
had quality fun together and we rocked things together so to come to terms with
her demise was just too much for me to process.
On the other hand, Tayo’s demise raised
a few questions that you may consider odd but I am sure some people might have
thought about it at least once. What does it feel like to die? I do not have a
death wish, I promise! But honestly I have been thinking about it. Some people
say you see your life flash before your eyes, others state that they have a
kind of out of body experience where they see their lifeless body. Since I have
never died before, I cannot confirm the validity of these claims but they led
to some other questions that will forever remain unanswered on this side of
eternity. Now I have one more reason why I want to get to heaven… ’cos I will
see Tayo again. I have that much comfort. I would love to get to heaven; I
cannot begin to state how much I will love to make it to heaven. Even then, I
can finally get answers to all these questions that have been raised in my
heart. Maybe there will be a sort of conference where we can meet with God and
ask questions…after all the song says “we will understand it better by and by”.
Then in the midst of all these, I got
thinking. Maybe I could be able to save lives. There has to be something I can
do to prevent more people from dying due to injuries sustained from car
accident and any form of trauma. I know I am not God who decides the outcome of
events but at least can I give a fighting chance. First of all, the emergency
response in this country is way below par. Like its way down there on the
ladder. If there is a car accident, there is usually nobody to provide adequate
emergency response that would give the trauma patient a fighting chance. First
response team (Emergency Medical Team otherwise known as EMT) are equipped to
simulate the first aid that such a patient will receive at the hospital right
there at the scene of the trauma. They are equipped with heart monitor, oxygen
and a lot of other cool first aid kits that could minimize the risk of a
fatality. What if I could campaign for such a structure to be incorporated to
the nature of our country? What do I need to do? Who do I need to talk to? How
can I go about it? Who do I need to go after? Please if you know the answer to
these questions, contact me and let’s work together.
Secondly, most of y’all know I am a
medical student. I was hoping to specialize in cardio-thoracic surgery but what
if I can throw in a great deal of commitment and become a Trauma surgeon. I
love the show “Grey’s Anatomy” and I love the way Trauma Surgeon Owen Hunt
carries out his job and save lives. What if I could contribute my quota and
save even more lives? Can I at least try to minimize the death toll from blunt
trauma? These thought has been prevailing in my mind and I wonder what God
thinks about it. I need to ask him first anyway. I have just been thinking
about it, it’s not yet a decision.
All in all, Tayo’s death has brought to
the forefront once again the frailty of life. Life is too short to be spent
messing around. Tayo’s own assignment here is done and might I add that she did
it well. She made sure her presence was felt and left an impact on everybody
that met her. No wonder the church was full to the brim and even overflowed at
her funeral service. A rare gem has been lost but we can only keep her memory
alive and keep her legacy standing firm.
Dear Tayo, you will be missed no doubt
but you memory will never die. You will live on in our heart.
-signed-
OkiZle
