Monday, January 2, 2012
I am not here to eulogize you. Eulogizing you means admitting that you are truly gone but that isn’t the case here. You live on forever in our hearts. I remember the chubby young lady who always complained when I made fun of her being fat. I remember the person who will complain about being too old in school. Remember that time you told me that you fell and bit your tongue and required stitches? I thought that had to be the worst feeling in the whole world, I thought that was raw pain but now this is worse. I can’t cry, I don’t know why. It seems I have run out of tears to cry. I called Lanre in the morning to tell him and He just called me now to say He still doesn’t believe it. My heart is torn, my spirit is heavy. So many questions we are asking but they will forever remain unanswered.
Why did fate have to be so cruel? Why did you leave us at this time? What went through your mind in the flash moment it all happened? When I spoke to you 2 days earlier did you have any premonition? So many questions in my heart but I can never find answers on this side of eternity. Yes, through all the pain I remember the cheerful person who saw me through one Hell of a year. I remember the friend who is never shy to express her mind. I remember the person who will not mince words in correcting me when I am wrong. I remember the strong lady who stood behind her friends all the time. I remember fondly your trademark punches to the side every time somebody stepped on your toes…I always complained about them and how much it hurts when you do that but right now, I can’t believe I am saying that I will miss them. If only you could punch me one more time. I remember how hard you worked during the Medical Dinner. I remember walking down with you around 1am with a couple of our friends and you were complaining about the shoe you wore. I remember the several ways you contort your face to express your emotions. I remember the love and concern you show unconditionally to people around you. Remember that time in Ife town when I got angry at you guys about complaining to me because we missed our way and how you talked me down. I remember the times I have called you to help me get some things done without prior notice. I remember the time you costumed us for our Drama presentation in the Village of Iregba. I remember the Last day I saw you in Ogbomosho going for that Rhema Dinner with Dotun and I helped with your make-up. To be honest I just wanted to make you look funny and It turned out superb. I never knew I had it in me and the eye shadow I applied came out superb!
I remember the way you costumed yourself one very cold night when we had to take turns in security. I remember Lara and her bossy attitude. I dare not refuse when Lara ordered me to do something….those witty punches! I remember all the things you ARE! Yes my heart is torn, our hearts are torn! yes our spirit is heavy, yes our friend is gone but I choose to praise God in this storm. I honestly thought God will step in and save the day but once again I say Amen and its still raining. I had hoped God would have reached out and wiped our tears away but as the thunder rolls I barely hear you whisper through the rain “I’m with you”. As your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and Takes away. Lord I’ll praise you in this storm, I will lift my hands for you are who you are no matter where I am. Every tear I cried you hold in your hands you never left my side, though my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm!!!
This is what I call Peace, Perfect peace! knowing that God has done what is best. No matter how much we try to argue it out…God knows best! yes she is young and not yet fulfilled but I still believe that God knows best. I have peace right now knowing that you have gone to the best place you can be. I have peace because this occurrence has taught me more about the brevity of life. I have peace because you are not truly gone, you live on in our heart. I have peace because I know we will be comforted. I have peace because you are looking down from up there as a witness now to this race we are running. I have peace because I know you don’t have to strive as hard as we will ever do again. I have peace because you have the rest God promised us. I have perfect peace because I will get to see you someday! The Christian in me remembers Is26:3 “thou will keep in Perfect peace…” Now I have one more reason why I do not want to miss heaven…because I will see Lara there someday!
Friends…readers…please help observe a minute of silence wherever you are for my departed friend, sister and colleague. Lara, yes you will be missed but you live on in our heart. All you have now is peace, perfect peace! I will miss you…we will miss you!