RELATIONSHIPS featuring Adetola

Speaking of relationships, we have different kinds. There is relationship with God (which happens to be the most important) and there is also interpersonal relationships. What we have with each other, if you know what I mean. Yeah, that's right. I am talking about what we have with the opposite sex. That’s the ish, that’s what rules the mind of most people, especially amongst the young adult. You see people like you and I have this in common and this issue basically is what predominate in the mind of some people. Strange as it sounds, I know some people who have actually used their tuition fees to satisfy their taste and thirst for women and everything in between.

Lets talk about this as it pertains to a school environment, tertiary institutions that is. In school, we hear and observe different kinds of relationships. It’s actually fun sometimes to poke nose into what's going on between people who are seemingly “madly in love” Forgive me but I like stories a lot. In my own opinion, i would classify such relationships into two types. How? Let’s go. Some stem out of various factors like Inferiority complex, looks and appearances, content of pocket, availability of profitable connections(if you ask me, I love this), dress sense(yeah, you shouldn’t look raggedy) and so many other factors. Not all these are bad in themselves but that should not be the only reason you go into a relationship. Now don't get me wrong. I am not saying if your guy/babe has all these factors but no dress sense its cool. You will just risk looking stupid in front of people. Also when your pocket is leaking, as in no cash...would you respect a man that can’t hold is own?

As much as the container is important, the content is what matters. This dominates the mindset of most people especially in our schools. They boy is fine,

the babe is sexy, he’s got cash, her Dad is the governor...blah blah blah! Would you keep shut already and look at what's inside that guy or what is the content of that “beautiful” babe’s character before you end up in a miserable relationship. Yeah it is a common story, a guy comes and tells you (the lady of course) everything you ever wanted to hear from a guy. In fact he is your dream guy 6 feet tall, dark, muscular, handsome and all those checklist you’ve made over the years based on some stupid Hollywood  movies. Great! you fall for him and he start giving gifts, taking you to dinners and everything in between. Then comes the day he makes his demand…the booty! What!!! Yeah..the moment you entered into the relationship, you signed on for that already. You may not know it but that was in his mind at first when he seems so meek and kind and gentle and loving and...I don’t know what else he was. When you refuse, then he gets violent or the goodies just stop and the unfortunate girl is hooked. She is beginning to thrive on the expensive lifestyle. Some ladies succumb to pressure and the guy does what we Nigerians refer to as “chop and clean mouth” the guy evaporates to thin air. Some unfortunate ladies perhaps get raped...even in their house.

Now what really pisses me off is the issue we Nigerians call “money for hand, back for ground”. It literarily means that “give me some cash and you will get laid” Such a girl might not term herself a prostitute but what is she? I leave you to answer that. Still beats the crap out of me. Does it mean that some people have no self esteem at all that they see themselves as randy dogs. Or does it mean that some parrot brained chick just cares about the cash than the fact that there are deadly diseases which no amount of cash can cure? This leads me to the second class of relationship

There is the relationship meant for the matured. It develops from appreciating the value in the other person. Inside every individual is a uniqueness and a dept of profound qualities that differentiate each individual from another. Well some people have just thin air in them but that may not mean that they could be great when they want to. These qualities define the true Identity of such person. Not the kind of clothes or the status of the persons bank account. Clothes WILL fade, money COULD finish. It IS the character of a person that endures the test of time, depending on how strong willed the person is. The principle is that a man’s gift make way for him and brings him before great men!

Now, as i have said earlier, it doesn’t mean that a fat bank account, a good dress sense, good connection and the likes don’t make sense...it does make sense to have all these in view but what truly defines a man(woman) is the content of character. A lady nonchalant about her appearance cannot go into a relationship with a guy who is very conscious of her appearance and vice versa. The truth is everything you expect in a relationship, be an embodiment of it. This leaves us with responsibility of self development and self discovery. Until you discover youself, you will not know what you want and until you know what you want, you will not get what you want in a relationship. Develop your character gift and attitude to the level where you become an asset to whosoever you end up with.

In my own opinion, being in  a relationship is discovering the value and uniqueness of a person, appreciating it and being satisfied with it. Then you can say I am in a relationship and I am in love!

Written by Adetola
Edited by OKizle
Adetola is a 300 level medical student In Ladoke Akintola University of Technology, Ogbomosho